April 28, 2012
Donna in Williamsburg

Donna, 27 Broadway, Brooklyn.

For more information, go to Donna’s website.

Who doesn’t like to eat thinly sliced heart with cilantro dressing in a room with church ceilings?  I met Sara for dinner at Donna at 8 PM and I felt like I was beginning a new chapter in my life called eat, pray, fuck due to the insanely beautiful vaulted ceiling. Not that I would sleep with Sara.  We look so much alike that x-ing with her would be like masturbating.  I did try to spoon her once but in my defense it was Christmas Eve AND we were in my parent’s basement AND I was in a loveless relationship AAAAND my mad scientist brother had given me benedryl on top of all of the Christmas port I’d been drinking so I thought she was my boyfriend. 

Totally justifiable.

Back to Donna:

Smoky Peach each cocktails – Mezcal done right – Donna did me right from the moment I walked in.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m not AMAZED by Mezcal.  I go out a lot.  I feel like some time in 2009 someone decided that Mezcal was cool and then each and every bartender buddy of mine started pushing this smoky variety of booze.  Oh, you’ve never had Mezcal before?  No, I’ve never had Mezcal before.  I’m in my early  twenties and until recently I was getting my alcohol from promoter tables at the Gans and Marquee.  Eat it.  Make me a drinky!!

Almost every single establishment is doing Mezcal cocktails right now, but this one was particularly … balanced.  (Holy shit, I’ve really crossed over into the land of the pretentious.  I’m sorry.)  Usually, I’ll order a Mezcal cocktail to humor the bartender, particularly if he’s hot and/or has a neck tattoo, and then, for my next drink, I’ll order wine - Especially with food, and especially if there’s an expensive dry pink wine on the menu.  But, straight talk: this Smoky Peach creation was so smooth (So. Smooth.) that I ordered a follow-up!

Better than the Smoky Peach was our cutie-pants waitress who was thinner than me but still had boobies, and had a man name (Jordan) which is infinitely sexy according to Sara.  Minus one star for all of the sexiness of being a hot girl with a dude’s name!  She didn’t do anything wrong, I just have to call my mom later and ask her why she didn’t give me a boy’s name.  I WOULD BE SO MUCH HOTTER IF MY NAME WAS ROBERT!  

The highlight of the meal for me:  The Avocado A La Pancha…Grilled avocado stuffed with oxtail jam, served with itty bitty baby spoonies.  God, I love tiny silverware so much!  Perfection.  Just don’t think about the mechanics of where the jam part comes from - please - just eat it and try to forget you are munching on butt.

The anti-highlight?  Sara eye-raping this strange duo of beardos across from us.

Beardo (noun): a member of a tribe native to Williamsburg, Brooklyn and Portland, Oregon, all of whom have lumberjack style beards that I imagine are perpetually drenched in their vegan girlfriend’s assjuice.

lumbajax

I don’t understand the Brooklyn folk who look like they just emerged from a forrest.  Why are you wearing farmer pants and carrying a knapsack?  This is New York City.  Cmon.  

Here is a link to the Times Table Talk blog reviewing Donna:  linkitylink.  You should really eat here.  It’s very pretty and and the food is good and that’s all there is to it.  Four stars, duh.